She is Back

Ok, back to our regularly scheduled program.

This has been a tough week, people. I have had to get tough to get through this week and about a lot of things in order to survive mentally. Yeah, sometimes it’s a real drag getting tough and it takes awhile to come around.

(yes, and I admit that kickboxing has been a Goddess-send!)

Some of the things that have been going on is trying to get back into the swing of things at work after a long vacation. Some of you know that I have been sexually harassed at work by another co-worker and that has made things very difficult for me. I had to deal with it – which, I felt I did quite well, but it still puts a damper on being back at work. I have had to fight feelings quitting my job all week and really evaluate my career, my job and in doing so try to put all the negatives of the job out of my mind and focus on the good things. So, that helped – I am still employed so that’s a good thing -plus, I am not a quitter. (Update: I just found out today that the contract I was working on may not be renewed and I might be out of a job anyway)

It has also made me realize even more that I am basically professionally trapped until I get licensed and need to be as vigilant as ever to achieve this goal.

I’ve quit smoking and have had to deal with the nicotine withdrawals. Which isn’t a good thing to go through. There have literally been times where I could have chewed an aluminum can in two and felt like my eyes were popping out of my head.

Not to mention afternoon sweats and headaches. Plus the feeling that EVERYTHING IS MAGNIFIED in intensity – feelings, smells, sounds and light. UGH!

And, a nice cherry on top –

I am trying to get through all of the above and working quietly and peacefully at my desk, concentrating on a project that I enjoy when I get an email from a reality company that (ex) gf and I did business with when we went to St. George – confirming her reservation for the end of (this) May. Lovely. Just lovely! BUT, I handled it well – I simply forwarded it to her saying “hey, got this by accident and thought I would forward it on” I got a “so sorry” email back. I am sure she was mortified – which makes me laugh and I am also relieved that I don’t have to go back there.

So, now I am ready for this week to be over with – I feel that I’ve lived actually two entire weeks this week.

And, Boot camp – bring it (the fuck) on!