I'm just Writing

It's been an extremely good week since I got back from the big land of PA. Surprisingly so! Work has been very busy but good and I have taken a few nights off this week just to putter around the house and do chores. I'm finding that I am starting to enjoy those things more instead of dreading them like I used to.

Walking in the door from being gone for several days it was so nice to be home. There was a note on the counter from ex saying everything was good with the cats and to text her when I got in to let her know if I made it back ok - which, I did. Ok - that was nice but I'm moving on.

I think I am beyond the stage of questioning the breakup, questioning myself for doing it. I think that's one of the levels of breakups - first, anger, then sadness, then missing them, then wondering why you ever did it and only remembering the good times and questioning yourself. I've moved beyond those things but what's next - hmm, finding another girlfriend and date, date, date. I'm not so sure about that - the pressure of dating. Right now I am just enjoying hanging out with friends. And, honestly even though there are a few candidates for dating I am just not feeling it. I am holding out for the romantic notion of thinking I haven't met her yet. And, when I do the clouds will divide, the sun will shine down on her and my heart will go thud, thud. (of course all this will be happening to her, too, when she sees me ;-)

I mean, why the fuck not hold out? I have nothing to loose and everything to gain, right? In the meantime, I am just going to cut the grass in my shorts.

Of course, all this could change after going to country bar tonight. You just never know what's going to happen there!