Breaking Up
Mandy's last post really smacked home for me. After reading it, I felt like I was that woman in the movie she was talking about.
Now I don’t want to air my personal life online but…..well, it is my blog and I should be able to do anything I want, say anything I want, right? (within reason, of course)
Ok, here goes – I am in the middle of a break-up right now. And, I think I’m going crazy. Or have become an asshole. Or AM an asshole. Because that’s how I feel.
Like I said above – I feel/felt like that woman in the movie. My relationship was just that – I felt like I gave and gave and gave and in the end had nothing left over for myself.
Breakups are never easy. (It sounds like a bad song, doesn't it? - here's a site that has 250 of the best breakup songs)
The arguing, tears, and heartache can go on and on. It is so exhausting that sometimes one looses their grip on reality or whether this breaking up thing was even a good idea in the first place. Especially, if you are the one breaking up.
The one being left will talk, argue, plead and then get angry when none of it works. Or they will say you hurt them so much and they never did anything to deserve this – in short, lather on the guilt until you feel like the biggest asshole in the world. Then, they will say everything they know you want to hear and promise to change and that things will be better in the future. If you are at the point of insanity and exhaustion often times this is where you will cave and give in, throw in the towel and say “Ok, I forgive you” or something to the extent of getting back together. Then, you’ll go have make-up sex and dinner and everything is ok again until……
…..a month later or
…..3 months later or
…..even, 6 months later.
Then, you’re back to where you started and so the cycle keeps going until somehow you are able to break it.
“Insanity is when you keep doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.”
Anyone who has ever broken up and gotten back together knows this from experience. I am in my insanity phase of this. And, I am hoping that I can do this, this time. I applaud the woman in the movie for finally leaving.
10 tips for breaking up
posted by Trinity2 at 9:05 AM
7 Comments:
Oh, T2, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Sometimes I think it's worse being the one initiating the breakup. All the pleas of change and tears and anger are horrible to deal with.
Hang in there. I'm sending good thoughts your way.
9:17 AM
Just between us, I too had Mandy's post hit a little hard. I can see the break up coming, but I'm just too much of a baby to end it right now. I keep hoping....the usual cycle.
Sorry you're going through this.
12:42 PM
Geez t2, what's going on? If it's unhealthy you gotta get out-as difficult as that is. (easy for me to talk) You're a brave soul for looking after yourself, no one else is going to do it.
I'd take you out for a drink if I could. Hope you're ok.
11:49 PM
Sorry to hear about the break up. Those are always so difficult. Hang in there and I'll be keeping a good thought for you.
9:02 AM
Oh Trin, I was really blown away to hear that you're in the middle of a breakup...I'm so sorry. There is no way to make a breakup easier I guess, except to remind you that you're not insane, you're just emotionally drained and exhausted. Separations are painful, and scary, and usually done with people that know you inside and out, know how to get to you, and know the things to say to make you want to stay, or if they figure out you won't, know how to hurt you.
Hang in there, lean on your friends, stick to your guns, and most importantly, take care of yourself. You have to heal before you can think of trying to heal the other hurt partner. I've been in the situation where I broke it off and in some cases I think it's even harder because you have to deal with guilt along with sorrow and pain. You're doing the right thing for both of you...no matter how insane it feels right now.
Sending hugs.
2:02 PM
Thanks for all the great support and thoughts, all. You're the best!
Stay tuned...
Trin
7:44 PM
T2 so sorry to hear about what is going on and claire is right remember that you are in no way insane and doing what is right for you even though often times is the hardest choice to make you are doing the right thing in the end.
9:14 AM
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