Online musings of everyday life....

Monday, October 01, 2007

Running Part II

Running = Mental Health

Why? I will prove it!

I forgot my ipod the last time I went to the gym and it was shear hell. I mean, I should have just turned around and went home and got it or bagged the whole workout. Not only is it hell trying to ride the cycle and occupy my mind by reading a magazine (plus, the magazine is hard to hold while trying to pump up a 20 minute mountain!) I couldn’t zone out on everything around me which as you know is bad for me.

The magazine is bouncing up and down as I ride the bike and read 1/100 of the Men’s Health magazine “30 Red-Hot Sex Secrets” (Ok, it cracks my shit up reading from the straight male perspective on this – although, I am suspicious that straight women actually write this)

Bouncing, bouncing reading “Do not try to stuff your semi-h@rd p*nis inside my v@gina” Well, no shit, dude! If you had a dildo then this wouldn’t be a problem. And – “Do not reach for my cl*toris if you are in a position that is not suitable for such a connection – meaning don’t awkwardly try to rub it off” Yeah, I agree – WHO WRITES THIS SHIT? I should write for this magazine. Maybe these guys need some advice from a certified lesbian. I’m thinking all this as the magazine bounces up and down on my lap.

My torturous bike ride is over, my heart rate is up and I am slightly amused by the magazine and I go in to lift weights. There is a woman who is talking very loudly to her workout partner who is this straight man with a paunch “Who are these people and how did they get in here”, I thought. As we have a mostly gay/cool-straight gym. (cool-straight meaning people who do not try to pick up someone of the opposite sex at the gym when CLEARLY they are GAY) Their conversation is really bugging me until I look across the gym and there’s a woman in this outfit:

And, I am flashed back to, well, Flashdance!
(Go Jennifer! Of course, it doesn't take much to make me think of her...)

Then, I’m thinking “Well, how did she get in here?” Suddenly, as I am looking at her she comes over to me. I am thinking “Oh, please, please, don’t talk to me, Olivia. Can I just work out in peace? If I had my damn ipod then this wouldn’t be happening because I would have zoned out and not been even noticing you.”

She gets to me at the pull down machine and asks “Are you using both of these?” When CLEARLY I am! What the "f " have I been doing the past 10 minutes and there’s a machine just like it across the gym but you have to come over and bother me without my ipod!”

I actually don’t say that but I am at a cross road of if I say the truth “Yes” then I will sound like an @sshole. So, I take the easy way out hoping that she is about as sharp as she looks

And say “Well, I’m using this one more than that one”. It worked because she just looked at me and said “Oh” and went away. WHEW!

All this just to get in a simple workout when all I had to do was go for a run. Headphones, I’m in the zone, it’s nice outside, the smells of fall coming on and I DON’T HAVE TO TALK TO ANYONE!

That’s all I’m saying.
And, yes, there will be a Running part III. Stay tuned.

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