V-Day Mishaps

Well, did we all make it through V-Day successfully? Does anyone have any horrible V-Day stories to tell? You know, like worst first dates and so forth? Any of the following scenarios apply?

You get to her door with chocolates in hand and find out she’s allergic to them.

You get to her door with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and she says those are the same ones that they put on [insert lost loved one here] casket?

While you are at dinner the [insert pet name here] ate all the chocolate and had to be rushed to the 24 hour emergency vet to have it’s stomach pumped. Instead of sex that night you fall asleep at the vet waiting for “Snookums” to get out of surgery?

You decide not to do the standard card and send her an egreeting only to find out that she had computer problems or wasn’t even on the computer that day. (You find this out after getting the cold shoulder)

You forget to make a res at a restaurant only to get there and it is packed with noisy yuppies.

You get to her door only to find that the ex sent a beautiful bouquet of flowers and you get the “Dear Jane” talk because they’re getting back together.

You both get food poisoning at the restaurant (that was your choice) and spend the night throwing up.

Their [insert pet name here] dies or has died that day so they can never celebrate V-day because of that.

When you show up at their door they are dressed all in black and want to bitch about their ex all night. (RUN FOREST, RUN!)

She gets you heart shaped pink soaps to put in your bathroom. (RUN, FOREST RUN!)

Your car breaks down on the way to the restaurant.

The ex shows up while you are having V-Day dinner.

Me – this is how I spent V-Day – In my Kohler jet tub with a Guinness! YEAH! (After a vigorous kickboxing workout, of course. I hit the bag so hard at one point I thought I broke my wrist. A little V-Day angst maybe?)

So, let's hear 'em!