Online musings of everyday life....

Friday, June 30, 2006

Trinity’s Top 10 Dating Etiquettes

Ok, for you single girls out there. Here are a few tips that will be sure to impress your dates.

#1 Unless she is strongly against it, bring her flowers. (some people actually find them offensive – find out before you do so!) Be prepared to cut them for her and put them in a vase. Don’t just hand them to her with a dopey look on your face and expect her to put down her drink, roll up her sleeves and do this chore herself.

#2 If you have dinner plans call ahead and make a reservation – even, if you know for a fact that it won’t be crowded. It shows you thought ahead. And, if you’re not sure of the place you will end up – make more than one reservation. It’s only two more phone calls and she will be impressed with your thoughtfulness. Plus, ladies like to think they have choices. Give her a choice between the three restaurants. If she has a favorite restaurant find out what it is and go there! (If McDonalds is her favorite, then take her to the drive-thru and straight home! You need to set your sights higher!) While we’re on the dinner topic, review Top 10 things that get the hell on my nerves for eating etiquettes.

#3 If you wear jeans on the date wear a nice shirt with it. (and, I know r.d. will agree with this: NO CARGO SHORTS!) Most restaurants these days are business casual. DO NOT wear flip-flops, teva’s, plastic watch, sweatpants, athletic shoes, have your midriff showing….(ok, see previous post on Fashion Faux Pas)

#4 It would be a good idea to review Waiter Rants “how to order wine without looking like an asshole”. And, there is a difference between not knowing wine and having the desire to know more and just ordering the cheapest wine and saying “Wine is wine. I always buy mine in the jug/box” (If your date says this, again, take her to the McDonalds drive-thru and home!)

#5 Don’t make her attend outside events, sporting events or concerts unless you know for a fact that this is something she likes (again, see previous Scream on the Green post) and it’s something YOU like, too! Because, anything that you suck up and do early in the dating relationship you will have to keep doing over and over again. (And, if outside casual event it’s ok to wear cargo shorts and flip-flops)

#6 Wash your car and clean the inside of it! (No one wants to ride in a dirty car with french fries on the floor -clean it out!) And, offer to drive if you asked her out.

#7 Do not be early for a date unless you know for a fact that she wants you there early. Just as important, do not – not, not, NOT be late! (This is a deal breaker for me!) Not unless something serious has happened that is out of your control and you call her and let her know BEFORE you’re supposed to be there! (I once ran out of gas going to meet a date for lunch and had my secretary call her to tell her that I would be late and ask her if she would please reschedule. (I didn’t have her company’s phone number and asked my secretary to look it up and call her because this was before cell phones.) My date was so impressed she immediately rescheduled and overlooked my stupid mistake of my running out of gas.

#8 I don’t need to remind anyone to have a good personal hygiene do I? (I would be very scared if I did) Fresh breath, cologne downplayed (don’t choke her to death on it) freshly showered, combed hair (on head!), shaved armpits and legs because you may get lucky – and most likely you will if you follow these rules.

#9 If you were the one that asked the person out on the first date pick up the check! She can get the next one or you can go dutch after that. But, DO NOT do the asking to a fancy restaurant and expect her to pay unless she insisted BEFORE you get there! And, PLEASE TIP! (Review Tipping Tips from Experts Fellow lesbians we rate the lowest on the scale of people who tip. Lets start proving them wrong!)

#10 Do not answer your cell phone while on the date for any reason unless you think it is an emergency and you have to answer it. (In fact, if you must have it with you hide it and put it on vibrate) If you answer and it's not an emergency tell whomever that you CANNOT TALK RIGHT NOW. (This is another deal breaker for me.) And, no crackin’on the blackberry, either. (this is a deal breaker for my gf –mine can’t even vibrate without me getting “the look” of “if you pick that thing up and crack back I will personally throw it out the window”) It would also be a good idea to review Waiter Rants “How to use a cell phone without looking like an asshole

And, do yourself and her a favor - keep up 1-10 even after you’ve been dating a while and know she’s not going anywhere! It will keep the relationship fresh and show your love for her.

Helpful? Agree? Disagree? Care to add more?


Blogger Maggie said...

#11 - Don't check out other women. You're on a date with me, focus on me.

1:21 PM

Blogger Trinity2 said...

Good one, Maggie! I agree!

1:30 PM

Blogger Maggie said...

It's all about The Maggie!

1:31 PM

Blogger afuntanilla said...

totally agree with DO NOT BE LATE.

i would add:
1) give her a compliment early on in the date

2) dont' talk incessantly about yourself. ask questions. be curious about who she is..

2:06 PM

Blogger r.d. said...

I'm getting a liitle overwhelmed with the top ten's- look, I can't even keep up.

Anyway, all I want to add (like maggie has stated) on the date, it's all about the other person. If you ask, you take over- If you like her jeans- say it. If you think she has cool hair-say it. Find out what they like and dislike and work with it.
And like the MCDonalds thing- If there's something you hate at any point during the date, figure out how to cut it short and move on. You'll do her and yourself a favor. Bottom line: be cool ladies, be cool...

Oh yah, don't choose anything that involves a bathing suit, sweating, a movie theatre, a noisy crowded restaurant,an unfamiliar environment (now's not the time to experiment) or a place with lots of straight people- I'm just saying...

12:17 PM

Blogger Claire said...

Excellent dating etiquette.

The only thing I would add as a personal piss off of mine is someone who uses the date as an impromptu counselling session to overcome issues (or get vindiction on their perspective) of past relationships.

Is this universal? Ever been on a date with someone that talks incessantly about a past lover, about how badly they were treated by them, about their issues, waiting for you to agree and sympathize with them?

Hello, we're on a date. It's supposed to be FUN for the person who got asked out! Save this for the professional getting paid a couple hundred dollars an hour to listen to it. I always assumed the point of a date should be to try and impress and woo your partner, not to selfishly gain a sympathetic ear to a relationship this poor person knows nothing about.


And RD is so right on - there is nothing worse than a generic compliment. If you pick out something unique, it means so much more. "You're hot" is always great to hear, but "boy, you have beautiful, graceful cheekbones" can mean so much, much more. :)

12:27 AM


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