Online musings of everyday life....

Monday, July 10, 2006

Wedding Bells

Yesterday, gf and I went out to the softball diamonds to mingle with the girls and watch a friend of ours game. One of my most recent ex’s actually played on the team so I know several of the teammates. Between games I walk up to a friend of mine and we talk for a bit about her new motorcycle and she says, “Did you hear about [ex gf] and [current gf]”? I said, “No” and she said “We’ll they’re getting married”.

Now some history on this

I can’t count how many years this has been (well, I can but I don’t want to) but within this decade, I assure you. I was in a serious relationship with a woman (imagine that). She moved in with me only after us dating for 6 months (which is very unusual for me as I don’t do roommates very well) and after another 6 months I proposed to her on our 1 year anniversary in New York – on the top of the Empire State Building, in fact. It was the whole nine yards.
We were to get married in Hawaii fall of the next year. To make a (very) long story short, 2 months prior to the actual wedding (and after it was paid for) she left me for a “friend” of hers. And, (this is the best part) she took “the friend” with her to Hawaii. They didn’t get married, of course, but I was really practicing the voodoo dolls in the tub of sharks while they were gone. ("Time to come clean", right Maggie?)

Now that you know some history it makes paragraph 1 more meaningful

(back to conversation with friend) Me: “Well, if they actually make it to the wedding then I guess it is meant to be” and that was all I said on that subject. I went back to my lawn chair next to gf, decided it was a good time to crack open a cold beer and pretend to watch the game. Meanwhile, thoughts of
Runaway Bride are flying through my head and I am wondering if this whole wedding business will stick this time.

Now another wedding story

Gf and I are planning on attending friends of ours wedding in August. When my friend (the one I am closest to in the couple) first told me that her and her gf were getting married I was a little shocked. (I managed to cover it up well by wishing the best and saying that I would be there)

I was shocked because I have always felt that their relationship was delicate and that from my experience there is nothing that will kill a relationship quicker as that of getting married or the pressure of getting married. But, I also know that was just my bad experience talking.

Why should something that has happened to me dictate other people’s happiness? And, weddings - is the relationship doomed before the cake is even cut?

Now, I am actually looking forward to going to the wedding and my excitement is even wearing off on gf. Even once burned I am still the hopeless romantic of ceremony. I still have dreams of the white Armani suit and the dance with the bride. I have never actually been to a same sex wedding, none of my friends have married before so this should be a new experience for me and gf.

I hope that my friends will be happy ever after. As far as the ex goes – well, if she can get over the bad wedding karma from the past then she, too, deserves to be happy ever after. Just don’t expect to get any wedding gifts from me! ;-)


Blogger Maggie said...

"Psssst...Little Girl..wanna good deal on some poison ivy soap?"


4:31 PM

Blogger r.d. said...

Not into the 'wedding thing' myself. Getting married I get, but the actual wedding I don't. If we ever get that far our plan is to just throw a huge bash on the beach on Cape Cod for all of our 'supporters'. It'll be casual but 'nice' attire...

Sorry about your Hawaii nightmare- that sucks but sounds like you're better off without her. Let her screw someone elses life up.

7:24 PM

Blogger Kelly said...

I think bets should ve taken on whether or not ex actually goes through with the wedding.

I went to my first same-sex wedding in the Spring. It was nice but I'm conflicted about the whole idea. I'm all for marriage, but speaking for myself, I'm not interested in the expense and effort for a ceremony that won't make my partner or me any more legally protected than before the ceremony. I'd rather spend the money on lawyers to draw up papers.

I am a big romantic, even if that last comment doesn't sound that way. I just have to find the right woman on whom to shower all that romance and passion. ;)

9:53 PM

Blogger Zoe said...

I'm not really all that into weddings, I HATE them in fact. I think they are a huge waste of money. I'd like to be leagally married, but I don't want the "big event". Figuring out that I was gay was kind a big relief for me because I knew I wouldn't ever be expected to go through the big wedding thing.

12:59 PM

Blogger Arial Ray said...

In canada, same-sex couples can have common-law status, which gives them the same rights as married people under the law - and that includes for medical benefits.

I'm not the marrying kind either, but it's nice to know that I do have some rights - and hopefully will be able to keep them.

5:40 PM


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