Super Heroine

Friday started off to be a good day. It was Friday, of course, I was looking forward to a relaxing weekend and I was a little bit tired and hung over from dancing the night away at Hoedowns the night before. (Mistake #1)

I roll into my office with Dunkin’ Donuts coffee in hand and a sausage/cheese/egg croissant. It doesn’t get any better than that. (Misconception #1)

I had been working on a landscape plan for my boss the past two days and was almost finished. (Misconception #2) I had only to finish the drawing, run it through our scanner, turn it into a PDF file and email it to the client.

Once finished, I thought that the rest of the day was going to be a breeze. (Misconception #3). Shortly thereafter I get a very angry phone call from the client. I had been forewarned of this particular client being a real ball buster but I don’t have any balls so I thought I could handle it. The client was yelling at me over the phone that this is NOT what she had asked for. I had also been forewarned that we had sent her almost everything in the book and which, she always rejected and had also (interestingly enough) never paid us for any of the work. I basically told her (politely) that I knew nothing of what she needed (which is true), that I was only doing what I was told to do and that she needed to speak to my bosses about her concerns. She then demanded that I get them on the phone. Fine. I go into my boss’s office and told him that I had this lunatic on the phone and he said to stall her until we could get the big boss on the phone with her as well because there are contractual issues (meaning, we’re tired of working for free!) So, I get back on the phone and inform her that both bosses were unavailable at the moment and I would be sure to give them the message to call her. She went ballistic again and I cut her off and repeated what I said before and hung up. SHEESH! Can we say anger management, here?

I decided to run out to the bank and deposit a check and cut through my boss’s office to tell him what transpired but he was on the phone and I didn’t want to disturb him. I had decided to skip lunch that day and work straight through and get out a little early. (Mistake #2 because I do not do well skipping meals) Once back at the office I noticed my boss was gone and took his laptop – a good sign that he wasn’t returning for the day. Suddenly, my blackberry starts vibrating off my hip. I pull it out and look at my emails and there are 4 (count ‘em) emails from this client. Two of the emails are her demanding (all in caps, I might add) that we get her a plan by the end of the day or else and we are jeopardizing the whole project blah, blah, blah. The next two emails are her returning my previous emails sending her the drawing. (I’ve never had anyone reject my emails before.) “This lady is nuts”, I think. So, this is where I am torn. I noticed that she copied both my bosses on the emails and it was a good sign that they both wouldn’t see the messages until Monday as they are very busy people who sometimes don’t get to their emails for a few days. I could either, A. just not do anything until further directed. Or B. see if I could go find big boss and figure out the mystery behind what this woman actually wants. Being a Super Heroine – I decided on B (Mistake #3!!!)

Long story short, big boss and I decide to send her another drawing which I had to track down the cad guy, then, the computer guys to put it on the FTP site and email this woman the link. Satisfied that we tried to appease her with another drawing and it was quite possible that it would take her all weekend to review it. (Misconception #4!!) By this time my head is pounding from no lunch and hang over. Since one of my bosses isn’t coming back that day and I had worked through lunch I decided to cut out early. I get in the car and merge onto the highway hoping for no traffic and my blackberry rings. It’s my friend D wanting to know if I can come over and help her move this couch she just had delivered. –Sigh- I just remembered drunkenly agreeing to help her with this the night before dancing. So, I exit the highway only to be stuck in traffic. Great. By the time I get her condo I am sweating and my head is pounding even more. And, the couch is a hide-a-bed. Have you ever moved a hide-a-bed? They have the weight of a large caribou!

An hour later with a sore back and possible hernia, I get into my car to start home. I merge onto the highway and traffic is stopped. –Sigh – it never ends.

I manage to get to my exit and decide to stop off at my old office to drop off my friend, J’s camera. I walk into his office and he has his head in his hands. What’s wrong? Just as he launches into being stood up on a date I said “You know what? Let’s go have a drink. I only have time for one. (Mistake #4) So, a Guinness later, headache and heartache subsided I rush off to the farmers market to get dinner. Why I did this, I don't know. I could have simply told gf that I wasn’t up to dinner tonight and that I was simply going to grab a slice and stay home. I rush home from the market, take a shower and rush over to gf’s. She’s on the couch watching the Tour (which annoys me to no end – long story) and not even making a move to get up and help me get groceries out of the car which includes two bottles of good wine that I bought especially for her. I shrug and take the stuff into the kitchen. It is then, that she asks if I need help and I say no that I have already gotten it. She then comes in and asks if it’s ok if I make dinner b/c she has cramps and wants to watch The (Freaking) Tour. I look at 2 pounds of shrimp to deveine, vegetables to cut along with lighting the grill and I loose it. - a fight ensued and I left without eating the shrimp. (Mistake #....I’ve lost count by now – NEVER leave BEFORE eating the shrimp! Hold all arguments and serious discussions for AFTER dinner, sex, drinks and so forth.)

Once out the door my blackberry vibrates. It’s an email from crazy woman screaming in all caps again that she cannot open the drawing and to send a PDF immediately. Of course....

Morale to this story: do not think for one minute you can be f-ing Super Heroine to everyone! Do not skip lunch and most of all – don’t agree to move LARGE CARIBOU!!

And, I should have just stayed at the bar with J and crawled home several Guinness’s later. I would have felt a whole lot better taking that damn cape off and getting drunk!