It's finally catching up.....
.....my breakup and what have I done?
I woke up here this morning next to someone I "barely" knew. All I can say is at least I have a little taste when I'm drunk and didn't drive far. The good news is, I still had all my money intact, my rolex was still on my wrist and the girl had a good sense of humor this morning when we realized our surroundings. And, I didn't wreck my car - too bad.
What in the hell had gotten into me?
Now for the bad news - I've never felt lonelier in my life. As I'm driving back from Midtown it hits me - my breakup that I was just telling S1 last night that I was over it, I was fine, I was handling it well, etc.
It's like when you get this huge cut and it looks really nasty and it's bleeding like hell but it doesn't hurt and you think "Oh, it doesn't hurt at all" and then it hits and the pain about knocks you over. That is me right now.
I tell myself "You did this. You broke up with her" Even though I miss her. I tell myself to go back over that list of "Telltale signs" of the relationship ending that I made a few days ago (there were 25, btw). I tell myself that I would be just as lonely if I did go back to her. That she is so self-absorbed that she wouldn't even notice me around, anyway.
-sigh- I need to keep telling myself those things - and thinking about the good news in all this.
I managed to glue the piece of my tail light back on - does super glue work on hearts, too?
posted by Trinity2 at 11:47 AM
9 Comments:
no doubt u will experience a rollercoaster of emotions over the breakup. i think that is totally normal. just remember YOUR TRUTH!
12:49 PM
my humble opinion is this: you did the right thing (25 reasons???) and now, your ache is for what you've always been searching for, the love you deserve... now that you have moved this one out of your path, the ache that it once filled however imperfectly has emerged once more. and of course there is the rollercoaster to contend with...you'll be more than fine. just remember to breathe. you can tell me to shut the hell up any time.
2:48 PM
Hey Trin,
When you're done with the superglue, would you pass it my way, if there's any left? I guess I grab the seat next to you on this rollercoaster we both seem to be on, and we can ride it out together, if that's ok with you.
Thanks for the support you offered today on my blog. You know where to find me if you want to chat. I've always got beer, margaritta's and chips/salsa that can be rounded up for a friend.
7:00 PM
No, super glue doesn't but time and other quality woman do! Sorry you may be doubting your moves t2 but you wouldn't be human if you didn't.
Now for the real meat: what happened before the bad news hit home? How about some details dude! details...
7:13 PM
Stay strong. You'll find yourself in a better place soon.
12:01 AM
Thank you all for your support and great advice. Some of you even emailed me personally as well as commenting and that really means alot to know you are all out there! Thanks again!
9:27 AM
Oh Girl! Stay strong. As painful as loneliness can become, try to keep yourself busy doing things for YOU.
And you know, it's okay to get out there and meet new people. (Even if you are drunk, I'm sure everyone's taken home a 'friend' or two.) And sense of humor, what a bonus to wake up to that!
Keep your chin up! You're fabulous, just keep reminding yourself of that!
11:50 AM
Honey, hang in there. Remember that nothing is going to seem normal or right in the tumultuous post-breakup process - and that we never get off easy. Sometimes there is a delay, but losing someone from your life is hard.
You did do the right thing - because you did it. Don't doubt yourself or your present, even though it's painful. The pain is there to tell you that you made a hard decision, not a wrong one. Your present is where you are supposed to be.
You are an inspiration - you did something scary and hard and are even brave enough to be vulnerable about it. Every single day you're moving forward...if it doesn't feel like it some days, just look back on your blog if you want to see how far you've climbed!
Hugs...
5:31 PM
I laughed a lot at this post, not at your heartache but at the situation.
Been there done that, but unfortunately my drunk taste is not so good.
2:15 PM
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