The End of the 30's

As I stand on the precipice of the end of my 30’s I have mixed feelings of remorse and of elation.

Is that possible?

The only way I am able to keep from having a total breakdown from turning 40 (and, no I am not getting any sympathy from my friends whom are older than I) is by looking back on my 30’s.

Where they that good?

The answer is no. They weren’t.

Oh, don’t get me wrong – there were some highs and low’s – but, mostly the later.

As I sit on the back porch this Sunday watching the afternoon fade into twilight, I sip my bourbon and coke and reminisce.

I can only recall this 30’s journey from the moment I bought my house – which was in ’97. I cannot believe that I was only 29 when I bought it. So – despite the 30’s – everything starts from there.

I bought the house in ’97 with the gf of 7 years. Little did we know at the time that we would only be together in that house for another two years.

Everything seemed to go downhill from there.

Two years of house disasters, working on the house every weekend and not having any money or time to enjoy the things we did previously when we lived in an apartment.

After 2 years and at the tender age of 31 my mother passed away of cancer and my gf and I had a terrible break up. I managed to keep the house through the divorce and fought to hold onto it for the next several years of being flat broke, struggling and grieving at the same time.

The dark years followed from this point on.

I went through as many meaningless sexual conquests as one can imagine in such a short time. I cried, worked, caroused and suffered much heartbreak until the age of 34 and then met this woman. And, you know what happened after that.

Then, I left my job, got a new job and met this woman – and you know what happened after that, too.

Currently, I am with a wonderful woman whom I adore and whom adores me [and, I might add is the girl of my dreams that I pinch myself on a daily basis]. I have managed to hold onto my house and am comfortable. I have two cars and a motorcycle. A Rolex. I have traveled and I have a new job that I love. I feel I have come a long way in my 30’s and have earned my stripes – or scars.

I think of all this as B and I are having coffee in bed this morning.

She looks at me, smoothes the hair off my face and says “Baby, what are you thinking? Are you ok?” I look at her and smile and say “I am just fine, baby” and roll over and kiss her.

Yeah….goodbye 30’s – good riddance. Hello 40’s!