Back in the ATL

Well, I feel like I've been away forever! I went to PA to take this class because my company really, really wanted me to. Checking into my hotel on Sunday afternoon I text this friend and asked her to look up the nightlife in big ol' State College, PA. She came back with a few places one of them being that Sunday night was gay and lesbian night and dancing. Ok, need to take a disco nap. So, I did and got up at 9:30, took a shower, drank some coffee and I was ready to go. I had a feeling that this was going to be the only gay action my whole time in PA and I was right.
The bar was hoping with great music and right off the bat a little Coors Light woman came up and gave me a complimentary beer. Nice. I can handle this! The dancefloor was in the middle of the bar and sunken with stools all around so you could watch the people on the floor. There was no bad seat in the bar. It started to get crowded and I eventually went up to a group of women and asked them if the stool near them was taken. After that, I joined the group and we spent the night dancing on the floor. One of the girls in the group "E" and I ended up dancing together and by the end of the night we had exchanged a few kisses. We ended up closing the bar and they drove me back to my hotel.
The next day after only 3 hours of sleep I was to start my 40 hour 4 day class. I am telling you that sitting through 10 hours of classroom on 3 hours of sleep is not a fun thing to do. In fact, I am amazed that I made it without falling asleep on my books. The next day was the same even on 8 hours of sleep.
The last two days we did field work out at a wetland in a national forest. We had to form groups and go out and do our own assessments eventually. Treking, crawling, and mucking through overgrown Azalea's, pine sapplings, sedge and mustard cabbage is NOT my idea of a good time! But, we all seemed to find humour in it and by the end where leaning up against trees laughing and telling stories. The class ended right before I had to get to the airport and I had to hop on the plane in my muddy boots, jeans and bramble caked polar fleece. I looked like one of those "granola-ie" outward bound women. (Goddess, I looked so Granola!) PA had definately worn off on me!
Yeah, PA cold but the women are very warm! But, I'm glad to be back!

My relationship and domestic beer

I compared what my relationship was like with ex to beers. See, I always expected Corona's with limes and always got Miller Lite. Easy as that!

Dog sitting is over with- I'm in the land of corn and mountains - Pennsylvania. Now is ex's turn to scan my house. She won't like what she finds - if she looks close enough. Just know that I am evil ;-)

The Terminator and Ex's House

Last night I took over dog duty for the ex. We’re both traveling this month and communicated up to a point of agreeing to watch each other’s animals. This might be a good way to work on our friendship –who knows. Yesterday, I get a text from her saying that the dog is all ready for me and she left beer in the fridge and ended with don’t use dead bolt lock because it sticks on the door.

I can remember what places look like in great detail but not the name of a street I take everyday. The same goes with people I can remember a certain shirt someone has worn before, the details of a piece of jewelry they have on and the brand of shoes they are wearing despite not remembering their name five minutes later. So, here I am doing a mental scan of ex’s doors. It’s like the Terminator doing the digital scan in his brain. I am remembering that she has dead bolts on both doors and no handle locks unless she changed the door hardware.

Yes, that must be it. She changed the door hardware.

I pull up to her house and the scan is going. New shelter over her bike – nice. Same plant at the front door, ok. I go to the front door – same lock. Ok maybe she wants me to go tin through the back door. I go around and unlock the back door – nothing – the bottom lock is thrown from the inside so I can’t get in. Ok, back to the front door and get in – thankfully. I text her that I’m in and ask her about the locks.

Letting the dog out I do my scan. New bookshelf, slightly dead flowers in a vase – Hmm, wonder who those are from – who would we know that might buy her flowers because I know that she wouldn’t just go out and get them herself. There’s a new plant – mental note to water the plants, too. I walk to the dining room – a lot of pottery on the table – must not be dating anyone to have made all this pottery at the studio. New cabinet in the corner to hold even more pottery – definitely not getting any – now I don’t feel so bad. Into the kitchen – it all still looks the same. Should have gotten me to tile the floor for you while we were together – too bad now. Open the fridge – yes, beer in there but the kind she drinks and the leftover beer from British friend that’s been in there since we were together. Maybe I will drink a can of her beer on the porch while I throw the ball to the dog. Little notes wrote about what to take on her trip – some things never change.

I walk through touch the things I am familiar with soak in the things that are new. But, all in all not much has changed and that depresses me for some reason. Down the hall – the bedroom door is closed because the dog would sleep on the bed everyday if not. I open it quickly and do a scan – hey, just checking for robbers – no big deal. New clothes hamper - is that my shirt over there? I close the door without going in. Let the dog in, give her a milk bone and leave.

Ok, so I made it through the initial scan and being in her house again. I have not been there in almost 5 months. It was good to see the dog – not sure about the rest. I wonder if she will do the same scan of my house next week when she takes care of my cats.

Dreams

My head is in a fog this morning. I went to bed last night and dreamt all night. The first dream was me and about 5 other people and we were running from the police. I thought we should separate so we all wouldn’t get caught (it was so Set it Off) and I ended up with cute bootcamp chick (cbc) with me. We narrowly missed being detained at the police checkpoint. I turned to cbc and said that from now on we would need to travel by bus or to steal a car.

Then, I woke up. And went back to sleep.

The next dream was me in this huge swimming pool that was bottomless. It had diving boards just under the surface that you could stand on and spring off of taking you above the water and diving deep. When I did this I would go so deep I wasn’t sure I would surface again. (I remember going down, down, down and then looking up to the surface and thinking I'd better start for the surface or I would never make it back) My ex was in the pool and we were talking about getting back together. She said she was going to stop sleeping with men (to my mortification in the dream) I think we were both naked in the dream pool because I remember her nipples vividly. I was also with this woman in the dream-

-and was wondering if I should break it off with her to be with ex. I remember she ("Phyllis") handed me her car keys and said to go get the Lexus but she didn’t have the Lexus key on the ring but the Chrysler one and I told her so and then she made a comment that she was my sugar momma and I laughed so hard finding this hilarious. After that I remember getting ready for a picnic with the ex and going to find her and having to cross over several wet areas (streams maybe) to get to her.

Then, I woke up.

So, who's good at dream interpretation?

Back by Popular Demand

I have had so many great responses from the bootcamp post and some of you have expressed interest to see more so here it is:


I hope these inspire!

Road House

Saturday night I met some friends out at a bar/restaurant on the square of downtown Decatur to listen to live music and have a few Guinness’s before going out to dance. It was St. Paddy’s day and most of the people I met or ran into had been drinking since 1 in the afternoon so it was a drunk fest. [which, in hindsight should have told me something] I fortunately not had anything until going out knowing that I needed to pace myself or else I’d never make the dance floor.

Walking up to the bar I noticed two women standing outside both with fight posturing going on. I walked by shaking my head thinking “Uh-oh. Glad that’s not me!” and went into the bar. This must have been 9:45 – 10:00.

I get inside and met up with friends. We’re drinking and listening to music. I noticed a friend of Fi’s go upstairs. I thought “Uh-oh – she’s up there with the ex.” And made a mental note to avoid upstairs at all costs.

Update: I have not heard from her at all since Busted. I have also not tried to get in contact because I am not into drama and am not a homewrecker – even though she may not think her and her ex are together the ex obviously thinks otherwise which is plenty enough for me.

It gets to be 10:30 or so and the band quits and everyone starts filing out to head down to the dance place. Including Fi and her friends. She comes down the stairs hanging on someone completely different than ex. We ignore each other. Then, I feel eyes on me and it’s ex glaring at me like she’s going to come over and kick my butt and I’m like “wtf?” I mean, I didn’t make her gf send me a naked pic of herself. Her friend grabbed her and pushed her out the door. But, not before we had locked eyes. Her: “I’m going to kick your ass. Why? I don’t know why but I am.”
Me: “If you want to be that stupid then bring it on. 3 months of kickboxing and bootcamp – puhlease!”

N, standing next to me caught the whole thing and said, “What was that all about?” and I said, “Have no idea”

So, we waited a beat before going out the door because despite my new guns I wasn't anxious to use them to take her out in defense. We walked out the door at 10:45 and the two women I passed earlier that were arguing were STILL at it! I couldn’t believe it! I mean, after awhile I would have just said, “You’re right and I’m wrong. Period. Ok, now I’m going!”

We go down to dance club and I made it a point to locate Fi and her crowd and be on the opposite side of the bar as them the whole night. J and I are dancing and suddenly a fight between two women beside us broke out. J stops dancing and goes to break it up. I had to laugh – J with her corduroy blazer and button down shirt going to break up a fight between two very hefty girls. I got behind her to get her back in case it didn't go well. She managed to break it up but not before one of the girls threw her entire drink -

into my hair.

So, I spent the rest of the night with pink-drink hair standing up and it really clashed with my green shirt, too! I've heard of Fighting Irish but this is ridiculous!

I was just happy I made it through the evening without having to use my new weapons.

Big BootCamp Instructor

Yeah, uh-huh! Watch out! I am going to be hell with a stopwatch and a whistle. Can you handle it?

Here's how I fared in my PT test:

FD = First Day Results GD = Graduation Day Results

1 Mile Run:
FD: 1 mile run: 8 minutes GD: 7:35 minutes

1-minute triceps extensions (dips):
FD: 50 straight legged, 5 with bent knees GD: 70 straight legged

1-minute sit-ups:
FD: 40 GD: 45

1-minute push-ups:
FD: 25 straight legs, 25 on knees GD: 50 straight legs, 5 on knees

It's not all work, though. Cute bootcamp chick met me out for (much needed) margarita's and mexican food!

Bootcamp - Graduation

Tonight is the last night and we’re going to do another PT test like the one we did the first night. This will measure how far we’ve come as far as speed and strength. After that we graduate.

Since it’s the last week the workout intensities have gone up. Monday was a 5 mile run, Tues. was multiple stair climbing, sprinting, lunging and ab work, Wed. was kickboxing class – which, has been the least painful workout of the week and last night was “House of Pain” (you don’t want to know). All I know is that ice, ibuprophen and, of course, my Koehler jet tub have become my best friends. That, shin splints do not go away if you work out everyday and that I am finally seeing the shadow of my lats again. And, I will take pics and post but I have to warn you now – my stomach has not seen the light of day for many, many months so you might just be blinded by the whiteness of it! Look at your own risk!

Was it worth it? – HELL YEAH!

I met many great people in this. It’s inspiring to be around people every night that want to change their lives and bodies and are willing to be there, to put forth an effort.

Results:

I can do (male) push-ups like a mo-fo now –even one-armed ones!

Kickboxing class is actually no big deal now – when I used to barely get through it without throwing up.

I am into a size 29 jeans now. My size 4 pants fit again.

Arm and quad muscles popping.

I can see lats again.

Milestones:

168 tricep extensions in one night including fire ant bites on my hand because I put it on the crack of the wall and stirred up a nest.

Spraining my ankle badly after the 1st week and icing it every night and wearing an ankle brace.

Packing my damn workout bag every night and doing [what seems like] tons of laundry.

Trying to [get away with] adding 3 Corona lights as a 6th meal in my log book and having to do a 100 pushups as [punishment] encouragement.

(Yes, I drank – I made it two weeks and decided that life was def too short not to have a beer with my jet tub)

Meeting cute bootcamp chick who came out and danced with me last Sat.

Singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall with cute bootcamp chick coming off our 5 mile run on Monday.

Going to bed at 9:00 every night!

All the comradery of my fellow bootcampers!

Aqua Girl 2007

....uh huh!
I knew there was some reason for dragging my tired butt to bootcamp every night for the last month!

Visual DNA

Got this from Zoe

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Other Sides of the Fence

Same day and a margarita later……

Me: “Yeah, well [cute bootcamp chick] met me out at the club last night and we ended up dancing together all night”

A: “Wow! Naked pic and dancing with cute chick all night – sounds great!”

Just then a text comes in from J

A: “Who’s that?”

Me: “Oh, you remember J. We hooked up briefly a few years ago when B dumped me”

A: “Oh yeah! What’s she want?”

Me: “Oh, you know” [sly look]

A: [slapping her forehead] “Ok, I want to be single!”

Me: Sitting there wishing I had someone to come home to every night that would cook me dinner. And, “light my grill”.

Hanging out with my friend A today sitting outside and having margarita's. (It was a beautiful day outside!)

A: " So, that's too bad about Fi friday night. I spoke to M (gf) about it and she agreed"

Me: "Yeah, it was! I mean if she's still with the ex and all then there's nothing I can do about it and I don't roll with lesbian drama"

A: "Well, that's too bad. She sounded pretty cool and that she was into you"

Me: "Yeah, I thought that, too. Especially, since she sent me a naked pic of herself"

A: "WTF!"

Me: (smiling)

Busted

Yeah, well my roll just got busted!

I have to write about this and laugh

and yeah, well, laugh.....

This is the last day of my mercury being in retrograde and yes, don't let the door hit you on the butt on the way out! Key-rist!

It all started last night when I reluctantly agreed to go out with my work posse. We were to meet a gay client out for dinner. What happened is all of us being trapped at the table while the nastiest queen I've seen since Backstreet closed went on and on about himself. We all finished our entrees and drinks in record time and paid the check and practically ran out of there.

After we ditched the queen we all met up at another bar to play pool. Whew! Glad we were out of there. We unwound and shot pool.

I get a text from Fi saying she's at another bar up the street. We decide to go there. Walking in I see her and walk right up and say hi and introduce myself to her friends.

and her ex. Who is obviously not happy to see me. And, it's obvious that Fi is busted. By me and the ex.

Just then my friends walk in. We go to the bar and I turn my back to Fi. I order a much needed drink. I ignore her texts. I leave after 2 drinks.

Why should I be surprised.

On a Roll

The last few days have been a whirlwind. I mean, I know my mercury is in retrograde but, Goddess! It all started on Thurs. I get a call from the big boss’s secretary that he is summoning me. I high-tail it all the way down to his office and go in expecting what, I don’t know. (You never know with this man) He wants to send me out of state for a week to take a wetland delineation class and told me to get the secretary to book it.

Next, I am teaching a motorcycle class. The lead instructor calls me and says he’s sick and I have to take over the lead. I have a replacement that is a new guy. I get to class and it’s full of women! Three of them are "family members". One of the family members I’ll call her “Fi” and I are looking at each other. (I’ll let you imagine it from there)

The whole weekend was great despite my newbie instructor giving me a few deer-in-the-headlights looks like “I don’t know what to do next but I am sure you’re going to tell me”. The girls all did great including a non-family member girl who was crying in the bathroom at one point because her fingers were frozen solid. (All the “sista’s” were rolling their eyes and sighing “Straight girls!”) Towards the end of the second day Fi is riding down the range towards me practicing the swerve. She is going too slow and when she stops in front of me I say “Go a little faster next time, Sweetheart” Did I just say that? Fortunately, no one heard but her and myself.

After graduation, I met the girls out at a bar/restaurant near my house with my friends S1 and M to listen to music. We all had a blast (including Fi and I)!

I am exhausted on Monday morning because of the long weekend and the late night Sunday night. I skip bootcamp. Showing up last night I am asked if I would stay after class and talk to the main instructors. Uh-oh, I know I am in trouble. After class, they pull me aside and ask me if I would like to be an instructor – go figure! Which, would be a great deal considering I could basically work out with the bootcampers for free and my kickboxing membership would be free as well.

So, I’m on a roll! And, I’ve been playing the lotto like a mo-fo!

I've got your romance right here!

Storm Indigo has a good post on what is romance that got me thinking. I would like to say that in the past I have been the queen of romance.

“Oh, really” you say? I’ll prove it.

Proposing on the top of the Empire State Building. Taking lovers to Chicago, the beach and New York. Showing up with flowers and offering to cut them and put them in a vase. Showing up in the rain on a gf’s birthday with hot Starbucks coffee and croissant. (To which she kicked me off her porch and asked me to leave because she was still bummed about being turned down for a position OUT OF STATE and needed to be alone – yes, just a glimpse of “25 telltale signs”) Arranging the first flying lesson on the birthday of a gf who wanted to learn how to fly (and me puking in the back of the plane). Getting front row tickets to a sold out concert for another gf. Not to mention the numerous meals I have cooked, fine wines I have uncorked and music I have played. Yeah, I’ve done it all, sista’s.

But where has it ever gotten me?

I have found that the more I do the more they want. Until finally I am giving so much that I have nothing left for myself. When I get to that point and I say I cannot give anymore I have had gf’s fly into a rage because they have come to expect those things from me.

How dare I stop giving all the time and expect anything in return!

That is the story of my life. I always give too much. I always give in to what they want to do and never voice what I want. That is a problem with me and I know that and am working on it.

Unfortunately, I call it working on my inner asshole.

Right now I am going through a real selfish and honest stage. Which, I feel is fine. I need this stage of my life. Those around me might find me abrupt but they will always get honesty.

The first stage of it happened about a month ago at country bar. I think it was a tequila and list’s night and we were out in full force. We were hanging out and a few women were near us hanging out as well. One was older and not my type and the other was about my age, tall blonde and attractive. The older one came up to me and asked me for my phone number and email address. (the nerve) I told her no that I do not give those out to strangers. Later that night she sent her attractive friend up to ask me and I told her no as well. I mean, come on – she would have just given it to her friend. I may be a blonde but I’m not stupid.

Fast forward to last Saturday dancing with my friends. We are in a mosh pit on the dance floor all squeezed in dancing and the music is so loud I have earplugs in just to protect my ears from blowing out. When the tall blonde from before comes by and says “Oh hi! Good to see you again” Like this is the place for introductions?? I take my earplug out and shout “WHAT?” She then asks me for my email address. I said (shouted) “What for?” and she said “For my friend” and I again said “NO!”(I was actually trying to shout then) I mean, my Goddess! How much of an asshole do I need to be anyway? I told her if it was for her I would give it to her but not for her friend. She turned around and walked off the dance floor after that. Oh well. I can’t believe the nerve of some people.

That’s just it. Why can’t the romance be extended to me?

Sometimes I feel like I am the only romantic lesbian on the earth. That I’m the only one that gets this shit. Well, I’m sick of it, I tell you! The next woman needs to roll with me – not against me.

And, because of my life being hectic right now with work, boot camp and teaching she needs to be flexible and compliment my schedule not work against it. It’s not like I haven’t been getting invitations but they have all been going out to bars, restaurants and parties when I am not drinking right now and am watching what I eat. Why can’t anyone be like “I found this healthy recipe that I would like to make you so come over for dinner.” Or “Can I buy you a cup of coffee?” or even “This restaurant has healthy alternatives – I’d like to take you out one night for all your hard work.”

When it comes to those things – all the women I have come across wouldn’t have a clue as to suggesting these things. In fact, I think the next person that wants to go out their required reading will be this and this AND let's not forget this.

If they can get through those then we'll talk.