Pride Survival

10 rules to make it a successful PRIDE weekend:

1. Make sure you buy PLENTY of beer for the weekend especially, if your state is like Georgia and doesn't sell beer on Sunday.

2. Buy ice waaaay away from the event - that way they will be sure to have it.

3. Try to have a significant other who lives close to the parade route and park they are holding it so you can just park at their house all weekend.

4. Bring plenty of snacks to the park and don't relay on the corndogs they sell there because diaharia in a porta-let is - well - the shits!

5. Make sure the wheels on your cooler are in proper working order prior to trying to dragging it 2.1 miles to the park.

6. Wear cool clothing - both temperature-wise and looks-wise. A sports bra and -well - anything, is not cool.

7. No matter how hard it is to park don't park in front of your ex's house.

8. If you hear someone say "Hey you!" just keep going and act like you're deaf - it's probably your ex or someone you DO NOT want to see.

9. Beer and icecream sandwichs do not go together- see # 4 again.

10. Wear plenty of sunblock because if you show up for work on Monday they'll never believe you were just at a baseball game all weekend (- especially, if there were NIGHT games all weekend)

1 year, baby!

For once I can say that I've been with my blog longer than my current relationship - haha! And, with all of you! Wow!

It's been a year at that! So, to celebrate - here are some blog highlights to review and relive with me (or to read for the first time if you are a new blogger).

First there was this that is a must to review:
Trinity’s Top 10 Dating Etiquettes

and, I still feel that same way about all of these a year later!
Trinity's 10 Fashion Faux Pas

-and, about this (- which is going on right now in Atlanta, I might add)
Scream on the Green

I know everyone has some of these including myself: (although, gf that likes to eat pimento cheese while watching extreme fighting has been replaced by gf who likes to watch baseball and eat peanuts)
Secret Trailer Traits

August of last year was pretty worthless blog-wise except for pics of
Rehab

Let's skip ahead to the coming out stories of Halloween:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

Then, I crashed and burned and broke up with my gf at the time:
Breaking up

Which caused me to review what
My dream girl
would be and, my list of Deal Breakers

Let's not forget Tall Drink of Water, either....

...and a surprise first appearance.

Then, on to Paris and then Switzerland.

and, a first invitation to Chicago to meet some of you!

February brought more dealings with trying to get over the ex and romps at the country bar
Brown Boots & Ex Central

-and, trying to keep the bod up in Bootcamp.

April, I had just about had it and put out An Open Letter to the next girl I meet and found her just weeks later after I put the same thing on a Match dot com profile.

In May I was just Trying to Maintain and it was topped off with an adventurous visit to Chicago.

And, here we are in June again - with a trip to the beach and a full circle of a very eventful year!

Thank you all for being there every step of the way! And, no - I'm not ending my blog! are you kidding?! I'm going for another year!

-sigh- we're back

It was a wonderful trip! This is the view from our third floor condo balcony! We didn't do anything but walk on the beach (the tide is up in this pic) lay by the pool in this pic and eat, drink and...... well, you know! For two days straight I didn't answer my phone, texts or even care about anything except for how much cold beer we still had left in the cooler.
Today, waking up and seeing B sleeping soundly in the bed next to me I wished this weekend would never end!
Back in the ATL our pets are all racing around us glad that we are back, friends calling wondering how our trip went and all I can do is sigh and say it was great!
I know my grandmother used to say that I was wishing my life away but hell - just get me to the end of July when I can be at a beach again!
Until then, just working for the weekend!

B.S. Quandaries - Part II

Ok, after much pondering I decided to hit the bathing suit/board shorts quest today on my lunch hour. After much work and my entire lunch hour in Sports Authority I found what I needed. I thought I would pass along a little advice to y'all in case you were getting ready for this quest yourself.

So, words of advice and helpful hints in shopping for bathing attire:

*If you need/want to buy more than one suit try to get a suit that fits nicely of the same brand in the same arena of colors so that you can mix and match them.

* The same goes for board shorts - if you plan to wear board shorts with your suit(s) look at them the same time you look at the suits so you can match the colors (if that is important to you).

*If the bikini bottom is immediately sucked into your butt crack the minute you try it on then it's probably not a good fit and should go back on the rack unless you want to make a thong bikini out of it.

*Take an array of sizes, styles, patterns, and types to the dressing room with you to try on so you don't have to put on and take off your clothes 50 million times to go back out to get another size.

-and, if you do go out to get another size -

* Don't lock yourself out of the dressing room with the bikini ON and have to go get the sales clerk (from guns/fishing) to unlock the door for you.

*For economy's sake it's very practical to buy two suits that match and one pair of board shorts that match both suits - although, again, this took my entire lunch hour of trying on to come to this conclusion.

*Buy tops that either tie in the back or have a metal clasp so it will not just SNAP off in front of (gawking) members of the opposite sex!

* Oh, and if you are a blonde like myself - review how to put these things ON prior to going out. (I'm such a butch I have to have my femmie gf show me how)

Bathing Suit Quandaries

Since B and I are getting ready for the island and it’s been hot as Hades down here for the past week it has come time to dig out the old suits and consider new suits.

On Sunday B and I decided to spend the day at the lake picnicking and swimming. I pulled out all my suits and showed them to her. One particular suit (which, I should throw away) was one that I had put on backwards one time – I know – it is possible and I proved it.

Flashback to 3 years ago and I am dating a (crazy) woman with a boat. We were at the lake with a group of girls on 4th of July weekend. There were 3 boats tied up to each other and about 10 girls on each boat. We were swimming, eating, drinking and just hanging out. I noticed that everytime I reached for a beer that my bikini top wanted to move and almost showed some pink parts. I kept messing with it when one girl came over and told me that my top was on the wrong way – that was why it kept wanting to fall off.

Now why didn’t my girlfriend tell me this information?

I had put the part where you tie around your neck around my back and vice versa. Hey! I didn’t know how these things worked – I’d only just started wearing them when I lost all my weight so bikini’s were sort of an anomaly to me. So, this girl held up a towel while I took my top off and switched it around. Whew! That was better!

As I pulled this suit out of the drawer I had to tell B this story. We broke up laughing. I, of course, chose another suit to wear (which I correctly adorned) to the lake shoving this suit back into the drawer.

Once at the lake we are floating around in a cove – B on a raft and me swimming beside. I glanced over and noticed we had an audience of 3 spanish-speaking gentlemen (gawking) watching us. (No, they weren’t Puerto Rican’s R.D.)

We decided to put on a show. (Yes, it was probably well worth their trip to the lake.) But, after awhile we got tired of an audience and got out of the water and sat in the chairs we had brought. Just then we heard a SNAP! And, my bikini top went flying off. The plastic fastener in the back had suddenly decided to break.

So much for not having an audience anymore.

So, now I have to replace one suit – or two, if you count the one I cannot put on correctly. I went shopping today on my lunch hour for replacement suits and this was a very daunting process. Bathing suits (I have realized) are much like shoes. When you find the right pair – BUY THEM - because they are few and far between.
As I was shopping for suits I realized that bikini’s only really come in two sizes:

Really, really small that barely covers your stuff or

Really, really gargantuan – the kind your aunt would wear to the public pool.

Most of the really cool suits that barely cover your stuff want an arm and a (labia) leg for! The people that are shopping for suits (except for myself) are really annoying, too! They are dragging screaming kids by the arm while they sift through the sales rack.

And have you seen the colors and designs of these things? They look like they were designed by people on acid.


“Cool man, that’s a great suit!”

Anyway, I did manage to find a decent suit and fit ok and the top wasn’t too complicated and it looked like it wasn’t designed by this person:


I get home and what should I find?

None of my board shorts remotely match it.

Sigh

Just Short of Love

She wrote
"Hold my hand tightly
and my heart gently"

I replied

"I will.

I promise!"

Did I say I have it B.A.D.?

I do.

I really do.

My Island

After getting ready for work this morning I sat down on the bed putting my cup of coffee on the nightstand. B rolled over and yawned, “Hi” her mouth curving up into a smile, her eyes barely open. My heart skipped a beat seeing her wavy hair out of it’s ponytail and spread out on the pillow.

-sigh-

I am getting used to these mornings of waking up with her in my bed. I must admit that I find it a luxury!

We are in that sweet phase of being beyond the “just dating” and [just] short of the “L” word. And, I am finding that I cannot concentrate that much lately. That I am just like a machine going through work and then the minute I am off I want to spend languid evenings with her. Sitting in the chairs on the back porch drinking beers, grilling out and listening to the baseball game on the radio (I know, I know). Then, it’s off to the jet tub with champagne. My evenings are feeling like I am on a constant vacation, on my own little island – with her.

I tick off the list of things I have to do before seeing her:
1. work
2. meeting
then, I break it down even more
3. drive home from meeting
4. change clothes for a run
5. go for a run
6. let ex’s dog out (yes, I know)
7. take shower
8. get dressed

And, see her!

And then it’s starts all over again the next day! Since we’ve seen each other we haven’t had a whole weekend to ourselves to be together. We’ve both worked or traveled. In 9 (and, you know I’m counting) days we are going to Savannah (and staying out on Tybee Island for 4 days! And, I cannot wait!

Then, I really will be on my own little island – with her.

Yes, I've got it B.A.D.

Airports

This is for Afunt as she had to witness my airport experiences this past weekend. I don't do well in airports - as she can attest.

10 things that MOST get on my nerves about airports:

1. Aggressively rude airport employees and being made to feel that flying is a privilege instead of something I pay LOTS OF MONEY to do.

2. Parents that feed their kids chocolate and caffeine before boarding a plane.

3. Parents that try to stuff their kid into a (kid carrier) backpack the size of –well…. a backpack - while the kid is screaming.

4. People that think the newsstand is same the line in the grocery store that is 15 items and over.

5. #1 handling my laptop like it’s a rag doll because I forgot to take it out of the case and also yelling at me loudly for not doing so.

6. #1 shouting not to cross an imaginary line on the floor close to the gate. My bad…

7. Waiting for a flight in a hallway the consistency of a house trailer with no restrooms.

8. Being told to “Go here and do that” by #1 when really it’s “Go there and do this other thing” – which, I had to figure out on my own.

9. People that hurl themselves down the hallways with their rollie-wheelie bags and/or strollers that I have to dodge them like a pinball.

10. Middle aged men turning to me in the airport bar when all I’m trying to do is suck down a 20 oz. as fast as I can before my flight and say “How you doin’?”